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what is your love language?

Years ago, Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled, “The Five Love Languages.” It became a bestseller and still to this day is wildly popular.

The idea of “The Five Love Languages” is that we each have a certain love language (maybe more than one) that enables us to receive love in a special way.

The five love languages are quality time, touch, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service.

There is an online quiz ( to determine your love languages in order of importance to you.

So, why are your love languages important?

God made you to receive love in a very special way. You are important to Him. He wants you to feel loved.

When you are looking for relationships with others (a spouse, boyfriend, even a good friend), it is important to find someone who really knows how to love you according to your love language.

If you don’t, then that significant other may never make you feel very well-loved.

You deserve to feel loved and cherished.

If your significant other gives you gifts but never praise and your love language is words of affirmation, you are in for a big disconnect.

In turn, you will need to find out your special someone’s love language so that you can show him or her the kind of love that he/she can receive.

If acts of service are your significant other’s love language, then cook dinner, help with that house project, take out the trash!

Learn how to love the way your special someone can best receive love!

It will make a world of difference in your relationship.

Gary Chapman also wrote a book about finding the love language in your kids – highly recommended for all you mamas and papas.

Chapman, Gary (1992). The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Northfield Publishing.

Written by Refuge Center Master’s Level Counseling Intern Kimberly Kooy.