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what do you want?

This question in my opinion is possibly one of the most important questions that we will ever be asked or that we will ask ourselves.

The question of what YOU want is significant in many ways.  It forces us to truly consider our own wants and needs over anyone else’s. 

This can be very difficult because often times, many of us feel a sense of selfishness when it comes to this topic.

In doing so, we are in a way putting our own needs first before the needs of others.

It honestly really depends on your perspective.

What does putting your own wants and needs really mean? Does it simply imply that we have to selfishly neglect others and only focus on ourselves or is it more complex than that?

For some, the responsibility of putting everyone else’s needs before their own became a habit in their lives.

Playing that role may not have been the intended goal, but somewhere down the line, that habit became the norm.  

The perspective that is the focus here is based more on the question of can you adequately take care of another if you yourself are not first well in mind, body and spirit?

Yes, it is indeed possible to give of yourself even when you are not whole, but in time you may be depleted because you are neglecting your own needs.

We all need something of our own.

Something that we have had the opportunity to choose for ourselves. 

Sometimes having that something is the only reason in which we can freely give of ourselves to others.

Making it a habit to care for ourselves first is a necessary act that will in turn give us what we need to continue to care for others.

So, if you need an hour of yoga before you can focus on cooking breakfast for your family in the morning, try to make that a priority.

If you have to sometimes say no to a friend because you want stay in bed instead of meeting up for coffee, make that a priority.  

Make it a habit to ask yourself…what do YOU want?

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken– Warren Buffet

If you would like to explore the ways in which you can start making yourself a priority in your everyday life, please feel free to reach out to us here at The Refuge Center at 615-591-5262.

Written by Refuge Center Masters Level Counseling Intern Ashley Ofosu