To some degree we are all on a quest for significance. To find it. To feel secure in it. The pain or trauma that we will all inevitably experience in life can impact us in such ways that we start to second guess our value or worthiness. We begin to doubt that we deserve love, protection, safety, or goodness in our lives.
Some of these thoughts and feelings may be overt. But many times they run like deep, dark undercurrents that seep into all the crevices of our life and they begin to color our perceptions and experiences. We find ourselves desperately seeking approval in our accomplishments, our titles or fame or money or any number of other things.
In therapy we call these things our “negative cognitions.” They are parts of us that are burdened by past experiences and subconsciously carry beliefs like “I am unworthy” or “It was all my fault” or “I don’t deserve love.”
More than anything we want to know that we matter, that our stories and our experiences matter, that others genuinely care, and that we do not have to suffer alone.
It is our deepest hope and intention that through compassionate and dignity driven care- each person who calls The Refuge Center for support and walks through our doors to start the counseling journey- will feel seen, soothed, safe and secure. We won’t navigate the process perfectly. And we will most certainly have more questions than answers. But we want you to be assured that no matter who you are, no matter what you have done or what has been done to you, no matter what your race, age or gender, no matter where you live, how you were raised, what your income or profession is -when you come to The Refuge Center for Counseling you deserve the very best access to care and healing.
We will simply start the process with these two questions: Where does it hurt? And how can I help you? In just being asked these questions your soul is reminded that you matter.
As therapists we have the great honor of getting to highlight your strengths, your resources and your resiliencies -and reflect them back to you. We get to remind you of your dignity and courage and SIGNIFICANCE!
I think the greatest compliment that a client ever gave me was when she said, “You just keep handing me back to myself.” She was in essence saying, “You see(the real) me! You trust me! You believe in me! And you keep reminding me of those things!”
You are a gift to this world! You bring delight and value to others. If you are feeling stuck or are having trouble embracing this, maybe today is the day to call us and start a hopeful new part of your journey!
Blog written by The Refuge Center Executive Director, Amy Alexander, LMFT