In times of crisis, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Sometimes it may feel like you can not handle one more thing. This is because at some point in facing a crisis, we have moved out of our window of tolerance. This is the ‘sweet spot’ or the zone where we remain emotionally regulated and are able to cope with various stressors. This is the state in which we are able to problem solve, we can think clearly and remain connected to others. We are able to manage our feelings and respond to situations calmly. This window of tolerance is unique to each one of us and there is no ‘perfect’ size that it should be. Just as our lives paint a story only we can tell, so does our window of tolerance.
There are many factors that determine just how wide our own window of tolerance may be. It is influenced by our previous experiences in our upbringing and any trauma we have faced. An important thing to remember is that our window of tolerance can ebb and flow, often depending on how many stressors or crisis situations we are facing at a given time. Based on our past experiences, our bodies register a perceived threat uniquely. This is why we all react differently to similar situations. What may feel like a crisis to one person, may very well just be a bump in the road to another and vice versa.
When facing various crises, our nervous system can become dysregulated. We depart from our calm, steady state and drift outside of our window of tolerance. This is why some people may experience hyperarousal and others may experience hypoarousal. When we are in hyperarousal, it is as if the gas pedal is stuck on, otherwise known as fight or flight. This may look like being overly reactive, feeling wound up, or experiencing intense fear, anxiety, or panic.
When we enter hypoarousal, our brakes are stuck. This is also commonly known as freezing. In this state, it is common to feel depressed, numb, fatigue, and disconnected. It may appear as being ‘checked out.’ Both ways of responding are natural defense mechanisms to ensure survival.
When we are outside our window of tolerance, higher level thinking and executive functioning is essentially halted. This is why it can feel difficult to make simple decisions or have trouble prioritizing tasks. It can also cause somatic symptoms, such as digestion issues or headaches. The good news is that our window of tolerance is not fixed forever. It is possible to expand your window of tolerance. By practicing mindfulness and body awareness, we can become more aware when we are drifting away from the ‘sweet spot.’ Simply recognizing what is happening in our body is a great place to start. For some, breathing exercises are extremely helpful. For others, somatic and physical movement may be regulating. With your therapist, you can explore techniques that are helpful to you and keep you balanced and grounded. Times of crisis are inevitable in life and we, at Refuge, are committed to walking alongside you on your path to wellness.
