“I Named It”
I couldn’t shake the feeling.
The feeling of pain, the feeling of loss.
I couldn’t understand the reason
that the sadness wouldn’t stop.
I couldn’t fathom a day
where I would be okay without them.
This feeling was becoming
everything that I was, all that I am.
I couldn’t stand the feeling,
but how could I let it go?
I had to let the feeling in
so that I could heal and grow.
So, I let myself feel it.
Gave it the attention it deserved.
I sat there and gave it worth.
I let myself mourn and I let myself hurt.
I didn’t want it to feel like an enemy.
I wanted to be free.
So, first, I named it “grief”.
And that alone started to heal me.
Grief is widely understood as a complex experience that lacks a single, clear definition and can involve many social, emotional, and physical reactions. This makes it difficult to grasp, process, or even fully feel grief although it is an inevitable pain that must be experienced. While grief is beautiful in that every person will at some point have an internal reaction to an external loss, it is also unfortunate for that same reason—everyone will face it at some point in their lives.
An important question becomes what someone can do to process grief once it appears. Processing grief often begins with learning to recognize, label, and understand it. When a person can name their grief and notice how it shows up for them emotionally, socially, and physically, they can begin moving more intentionally through the processing and healing journey. One helpful way to deepen this understanding is by exploring some of the different types of grief people may experience.
Types of Grief
1. Anticipatory Grief – Involves grieving a loss before it has occurred. This may show up as mentally or physically preparing for a loved one’s death, fearing an upcoming loss, or feeling distracted by thoughts of impending loss.
2. Abbreviated Grief – Refers to a shorter grieving period, which can occur after anticipatory grief or on its own. This does not mean you did not care about what or who you lost—it simply means your grieving process is moving more quickly.
3. Delayed Grief – Occurs when emotions related to grief appear days, weeks, or even months after the loss. This can happen when the brain and body initially recognize the loss as too overwhelming to process right away.
4. Inhibited Grief – Involves suppressing or avoiding grief-related emotions. This may occur when someone was not allowed or encouraged to express emotions growing up, or when emotional expression feels unsafe or uncomfortable.
5. Cumulative Grief – Happens when multiple losses build over time. This can involve repeated losses of the same kind or different types of losses occurring close together.
6. Prolonged Grief – Involves persistent and intense mourning that continues for an extended period and interferes with daily life. This can occur following any type of loss.
7. Disenfranchised Grief – Occurs when a loss is not recognized, validated, or supported by others or society, which can make it harder for someone to process their grief openly.
8. Traumatic Grief – Occurs when a loss is connected to a traumatic event. Symptoms of trauma and grief can overlap and intensify one another.
9. Absent Grief – Refers to little or no outward grief response following a loss, sometimes due to shock, numbness, or difficulty processing emotions.
10. Exaggerated Grief – Involves very intense grief reactions that may feel overwhelming or difficult to manage. Because grief varies widely, this can sometimes be difficult to identify.
Next Steps: Processing Your Grief
You may have read the types of grief, knowing you have experienced a loss and are struggling to identify which one reflects your internal experience. You may also have felt some of them resonate with you but you’re unsure what to do next. Either way, therapy can be a helpful next step in your healing journey.
In grief therapy, you can explore which type of grief aligns with your experience and what that means for you personally. Because every person experiences loss differently, Refuge therapists tailor therapy to your unique needs, helping you recognize, name, process, and learn to live alongside the emotions that grief brings. Healing does not mean forgetting your loss. It means learning how to carry it while still creating a meaningful and beautiful life.
When you are ready, support is here to help. You do not have to navigate grief alone. Support, understanding, and healing are possible, even in the midst of loss. You can find out more by giving our office a call at 615-591-5262.
References
Gordon, S. (2025, October 1). 11 Types of Grief and How To Cope With Loss. Health. https://www.health.com/grief-7692761
What is grief?. Cleveland Clinic. (2023, February 22). https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24787-grief
