At the onset of therapy, individuals often contemplate questions such as, “What should I talk about?” or “What is the purpose of therapy?” Talk therapy offers numerous benefits, including goal setting, navigating life transitions, fostering self-discovery, and enhancing emotional regulation. Over the past two years, I have come to appreciate the significance of two essential elements in living a fulfilling life and processing emotions: beauty and lament. These concepts play a vital role in the therapeutic journey, enriching the experience of talk therapy. The next two weeks I want to share a little about these two concepts.
Starting with lament. Lament is more than just complaining. Lament is allowing oneself to feel the painful emotions of doubt, grief, loss, anger, hurt and sadness. These emotions are hard. It is often seen as weakness to cry or to show emotion. But this very act of emotion is what allows a person to process it. When we talk about processing emotions it is that very thing, allowing oneself to feel emotions. This can be painful and uncomfortable and difficult, but it is a place to start. “Lamentation, then is essential to mental health, and is often the main pathway to personal growth, to greater equanimity, compassion and wisdom. Although painful, it is altogether natural, and a good thing” (Culliford, 2014).
This place of sitting in pain and feeling emotion is a place that can be sacred. A place of experience and vulnerability that allows for movement and growth. And this often takes time. Lament can have several purposes it acknowledges pain, creates space for healing, and allows room for growth and connection. One of the greatest purposes may be to draw us to God. The Bible speaks at length about lament, crying out in need to a God who hears. One of my favorite passages in scripture is in Matthew. In the Beatitudes we are reminded of God’s grace to those who are hurting. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4 (NKJV), n.d.)
There are several ways to incorporate lament into your life. Some of these include journaling, using creative expression- like poetry or art work, mindfulness, and therapeutic conversations. The process of lament is a place of transformation. It allows for growth, connection, and healing. It is an important part of experiencing the fullness of life. Without Lament we would never know and appreciate the fullness of beauty.
References:
Culliford, L (2016, September 29). Lamentation can be a good thing: The process of grieving is healthy and leads to personal growth. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spiritual-wisdom-secular-times/201609/lamentation-can-be-good-thing#:~:text=Lamentation%2C%20then%2C%20is%20essential%20to,natural%2C%20and%20a%20good%20thing.
Matthew 5:4 (NKJV). (n.d.). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205%3A4&version=NKJV
