The month of February is often a welcomed friend. We have “made it” through the post holiday doldrums that January can bring and have the celebration of Valentine’s Day to brighten what is often wintry, sometimes gloomy weather. But some of us bring hearts that are breaking to this season. We might have lost a loved one to death and are in the midst of terrible anguish. A relationship that used to be a source of comfort and love has now ended in a break up or divorce. Grief is an important but messy part of our healing in the face of such losses.
While traditional views of grief described the process as being one of moving through stages, the current research supports the understanding that the process of grief is more akin to a wave theory. One day our lives might be overwhelmed by a tidal wave of sadness and desolation and we feel tossed by anger, fear, loneliness and a myriad of other emotions. Perhaps the next day the wave recedes and we experience some joy and hope. These moments of restoration allow us the chance to rest and catch our breath as we continue to move through and with this grief process. While each person will experience grief differently, there can be patterns that help us navigate the waves. By continuing to move and leaning into/developing the coping mechanism of resilience, the gift of healing around our loss can be waiting for us. If you are experiencing grief and would like support, please contact The Refuge Center at 615-771-1155.