The start of a new school year is upon us. This means helping our kids navigate new teachers, new schedules, new friends, new expectations, and the copious amount of changes that come along with the introduction of something new. This year, some parents may be navigating the newness of dropping off a kindergartener for the first time or celebrating the last first day with their senior in high school. Soon summer will slowly fade into fall, and we will experience another new season. Just as the seasons change, our lives are marked by transitions. These may include:
● Moving
● Starting a new job
● Getting married
● Beginning college
● Welcoming a child
● Losing a job
● Divorce
● Releasing a child into adulthood
● Aging parents
● Loss of a loved one
● Graduating
● Receiving a diagnosis
● Growing up
● Starting something new
Everyone can relate to something listed above. Transitions are a natural part of the human experience. In fact, change is constantly on display by the natural world around us through the growth of seeds; the altering of tides; the transition of leaves; the constant flow of currents; the differing phases of the moon; and the rising and setting of the sun. Our environment tries to remind us of the words proposed by the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, – “the only constant in life is change”. Therefore, how do we navigate it?
Connect With Yourself
Transitions and change can sometimes knock us off our feet. This can be the case if the life-changing circumstances are devastating or extraordinary. Any change can be uncomfortable because it is not what our mind and body is used to handling. Therefore, our brains may tend to naturally replay and reminisce on the past in an attempt to hold onto and honor that time, in addition to the lessons it provided. On the other hand, our natural inclination may be to try to jump to the future and figure out all the possibilities and “what-if’s” to prepare ourselves for further impact.
Both strategies can be helpful but also have the potential to keep us disconnected from the present moment. Therefore, it is imperative to create opportunities for us to connect with ourselves when navigating change. This can look like going for a walk, exercising, journaling, practicing mindfulness, enjoying a hobby, or creating a quiet moment within your routine. Taking this time to slow down, connect with our thoughts, and acknowledge our feelings, allows us to understand how the transition is impacting us to determine what we may need while navigating its ongoing ramifications. It may even be helpful to ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this – what is it trying to communicate to me?” or “What would be helpful right now in this present moment?”
Practice Self Compassion
It is important to also remember that there is no “right way” to navigate change. Transitions impact everyone differently. As Jones (2023) proposes, “many people think they know how they should be feeling when dealing with a big change, but the truth of the matter is that each person has their own set of needs and personal circumstances”. Therefore, it can be helpful to recognize when we are “should-ing” ourselves, or pressuring ourselves to feel a certain way or do a certain thing because that is what we should do or what is expected of us. Instead, we can choose to offer ourselves compassion in recognizing that this process of adjusting to the transition may look different for us because we have different needs. As a result, we can choose to give ourselves the appropriate amount of time required to process the change and its impact.
Create Consistency
We can oftentimes begin to feel powerless during seasons of transition, but one practical thing that we can do when confronted with change is create consistent routines that anchor us. This may look like creating consistent routines for optimal sleep hygiene, establishing a morning routine that motivates you to get out of bed, or scheduling consistent time to hang out with friends or partake in a hobby that brings you joy. Creating consistency helps us show up for ourselves in uncertain times. However, it is also important to allow room for flexibility to adapt to new and changing circumstances as they arise.
Find the Joy Within Your Control
Transitions can oftentimes remind us of our limited control over the events, situations, and circumstances that impact our lives. There are a lot of things outside of our control, but there are also things that we have control over. Specifically, one thing that we have control over is our perspective. Where we look, directs our steps. We can choose to find joy in the midst of change. Activities like gardening, writing, creating, hiking, playing an instrument, visiting with others, or learning something new can allow us to connect with the new season, those around us, and ourselves during transitions. It also helps shift our perspective. Doing things that open you up to joy again can be vulnerable, but they can also lead to profound growth and self-discovery in the midst of uncontrollable change.
Connect to Others
Oftentimes, the impact of transitions can be hard to handle on our own. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. Sharing your experiences with trusted friends and family allows us to partake in the security of community. Reaching out for support helps us feel held while navigating new steps. Those around us may be able to offer practical wisdom or emotional support because they have previously undergone the same metamorphosis that you are currently facing. Even if they have not experienced the exact same circumstance you are currently experiencing, they have experienced a transition within their lives. In essence, it allows others to grant us the gift of their shared experience of being a human and, in turn, we can do the same for them. We aren’t meant to walk this road alone.
In some cases, you may want to connect with a professional to help you navigate the changing circumstances. If so, we would love to walk alongside you. The Refuge Center exists to offer excellent, accessible, and affordable mental and emotional healthcare services in support of a transformational impact on communities. You can schedule an intake appointment by calling 615-591-5262 or by emailing [email protected]. Our trained staff will connect you with one of our counselors who will meet your personalized needs. To learn more about what Refuge offers, visit refugecenter.org/services. If you would like to support our mission and vision, including more resources like these, please visit refugecenter.org/support.
Sources
Jones, M. (2023). Life transition: 6 tips for coping with life changes and transitions. Retrieved from https://www.livingopenhearted.com/post/coping-with-life-changes-and-transitions
Therapy Now SF (2024). Navigating life transitions. Retrieved from https://www.therapynowsf.com/blog/navigating-life-transitions
