Below I have written a brief poem about the concept of behavior modification. When I say this term, I am talking about the idea of changing negative behaviors to healthy behaviors to positively impact mental health. Behavior modification has been shown to be highly beneficial for people experiencing depression. But if we are being honest, when in the throes of depression, changing behavior can feel like a ginormous road block. I reflected on the internal tug of war that can happen when attempting to change behavior in this poem.
Behavior Modification:
Defined as taking steps to get back to what feels right
To a groove that swings me back into the light
So my actions align with my beliefs and I don’t feel stuck
Taking hold of the reigns instead of relying on luck
People like me tend to assume
That “trying” fixes our problems
Try this and try that
And I’ll be better, I’ll blossom
But life isn’t always so breezy
That person over there makes it look so easy
Behavior Modification has a place
It shouldn’t just be for fixing the bad
But a launching pad
To exploring potential
And finding what is essential
It would be sad to say that we are in a mold
That no amount of bold could change the patterns of old
We want to be believe that changing what we do
Matters so we aren’t stuck in our habits like glue
Behavior modification is here to say
That you have control over how you spend your day
We are trying to keep and carve away
Many things in our personality array
Increase or decrease that stimulus
So that we can move towards a more centered bliss
We can take behavior modification too far
And set way too high of a bar
Sometimes I wonder why I can’t change
Or why my five-step plan drove me insane
We use it as a tool but it isn’t bullet proof
We are human, we fail and we try to improve
Modifying our behavior is a good first move
But knowing what we believe helps us prove
To ourselves and others that principles comes first
When practicality sometimes feels coerced
A life spent grieving over failures
Is a life spent trying to erase the picture
That God is drawing in pen on your life
It will never work and satisfy
We will struggle and fail and that is why
Our observable and measurable life
Is a mix of emotions, solutions and lies
We need to see how God’s ink pen
Draws jagged lines again and again
And our zoomed in mind cannot see
The jagged lines draw the cross where we kneel and plea
That God would have grace when our behaviors feel wrong
Please Lord help us instead sing a song
A tune that knows that seeing oneself as a failure in this world
Is scribbling over the art of God; the sand turned into a pearl
Help me to rest and know that it isn’t all on me
But also to work hard and try to be
The child that falls but then stands back up
And knows that really being grown-up
Is not easy and wasn’t meant to be
And instead of getting angry
I will use the tools I have learned in life’s class
And bend a knee and find hands to clasp
To pray and do my best
And not let my joy be contingent on the grade I get on life’s tests
But whether or not I learned and progressed
