
Thought on the topic of “regret” from a Refuge Counselor:
“So I have been thinking a lot the past few weeks about regret. Typically, I hear the word “regret” used in the context of someone saying, “I don’t want any regrets”. It has me question, can we really not regret and are we made to not regret? I am wondering that to not regret is to not be honest. When I slow down and review my life, I cannot help but regret some things. I regret not being more patient with my children. I regret that mean thing I said to my wife. I regret not being a better brother to the one that passed away. I grieve these things. I think about them in random moments; moments in the car; moments running. I wonder if regret can also be a gift and even a friend. Regret can be a lot like pain. Don Miller wrote in one of his blog posts titled What to Do with Pain that “In stories and in life, pain is our friend. It’s an unwelcome friend, but a friend nonetheless. The good news is that if we make friends with our pain, it won’t stay long and it will leave us with a gift. But if we avoid pain, it will chase us down until we finally accept the gift it has to offer.” I wonder if we can ask regret to be a friend instead of acting like he is not even there?”