Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to survive. If our hearts have been wounded, we try to protect from further hurts. Sometimes survivors, who have endured pain and hurt, in order to protect themselves, pretend that their hearts don’t matter. Their hopes, longings, feelings, needs, and desires aren’t essential for life. But they are needed for a fully lived life.
Even when you are trying to ignore your heart, you can still hear its cry. Survivors try to distract from the cries:
o We binge on multiple distractions so we don’t feel lonely.
o We drink excessively because we don’t believe there is anything better.
o We amass power so we won’t feel afraid.
o We suffer depression to escape from anger.
o We practice quid pro quo as an illusion of intimacy.
o We fight for the status quo to keep from facing our fear.
o We fight for change to avoid the pain of waiting.
o We go to church worshipping the ritual that allows us to safely avoid knowing God.
We do all of these things to avoid relationship with our hearts, others’ hearts, and God’s heart.
But we were meant to live fully. If you’re in survival mode and need help to get out, let us help. The Refuge Center, 615-591-5262, www.therefugecenter.org
The Voice of the Heart: A Call to Full Living by Chip Dodd
