Male, Age 31

Male, Age 31

During my Junior and Senior year of High School a relationship developed between me and my teacher. At first, she was a voice that listened to me and a friend in which to confide. She mentioned to me that our relationship was special and I began to spend more and more time with her, even at her home before my senior year of high school. Although she was 24 year my senior and married, she approached me sexually and we began an intimate relationship that lasted through the rest of my senior year until I left for collage.  

All of these years I carried around a bag full of guilt over my decision. It was not until I came to The Refuge Center that it was revealed to me that she was a sexual predator. It is not common knowledge that women can be sexual predators. And the fact that she was 24 years older than I, and she was my teacher who was in an authoritative position over me. Unbeknownst to me, she groomed me and brought me into her web. Essentially, I was acting like most 17 year old males would when presented with the opportunity for sex! With this knowledge in my bucket I was able to go down the road of healing.

As my counselor began to work with me we had to unravel a lot of things in my heart and mind. We worked hard every week, both of us. I became more and more confident in who I was as whole person and was able to use the tools that my counselor gave me effectively on a daily basis. She helped me to grieve the process of being sexually abused, something I had not done. A lot will come out of a 31 year old man when he has 14 years of pent up emotions. 

But to be completely honest, counseling is tough! It’s been on the hardest things I have ever done in my life. But it has been worth it. All of the hard work and tears have not been fun or easy. Yet, it has been extremely liberating and life-changing. The tools that counseling has given me will go with me for the rest of my life. I believe that I am completely out of the clear. And I am victorious over my struggles. The fact is: if I would not have come to counseling, I would have never made it this far on my own. It would have been easy to quit at several points along the way, but I didn’t and it is paying off.  I will reach my full potential in life.

I would recommend counseling for any and everyone who is going through a difficult season, no matter how severe or mild. I believe in what they do at The Refuge Center and would recommend anyone to this place.