Cracks in our Surfaces

Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

I write this with Father’s Day on my heart last weekend, and the realization that for some this is a day filled with gratitude and for others it is filled with grief and longing.

Father’s Day for some is a brutal reminder of the child that was never born, the dad that was never around, the death of a father, or maybe a strained relationship with a father that is around. 

Days like Father’s Day can often break us open and force us to look at the cracks within our spirits that we’ve been desperately trying to fill, hoping that no one will notice.

As I reflect on this reality, I am reminded of the spaces that are in each of our stories-spaces that hold brokenness, grief, shame, fear, loneliness, anger, loss of someone we love.

These spaces are often the ones we don’t want to spend much time in.  They are uncomfortable and we are scared if we allow ourselves to feel all that these spaces hold we might break.

This is a real fear and often the busyness of life requires that we don’t become overwhelmed by what is found in those places.

However, what is also real is that our bodies carry this pain with them.  No matter how hard we try to deny these difficult parts of our stories, our bodies know. 

Often our response to this reality is either an opening or closing of ourselves to life and to one another.

If we close ourselves up, we lose connection to people, our lives, and ourselves.  But if we open ourselves up, something beautiful can happen.

This bravery allows us to step into those spaces and as we share our stories we invite others into that space as well.

When we allow there to be cracks in our surfaces we are reminded that we aren’t alone and that they exist in others as well. 

As we sit together in this space sharing story and allowing our cracks to be seen, healing moves through those cracks straight to our souls.

This transforms us and provides us with the sweet comfort of knowing that even on days that remind us of deep pain, we don’t have to experience it alone.

Our stories, especially the broken parts, are treasures in our souls waiting to connect to the treasure in someone else’s. 

If you have a space in your life that feels burdened by brokenness and hopelessness, The Refuge Center would love to give you the support you need to find healing and connection with yourself and others.